


Razorback

by chrlew42



Category: Three Little Pigs (Fairy Tale)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-13 13:40:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28779165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chrlew42/pseuds/chrlew42
Summary: A sci-fi adaptation of The Three Little Pigs





	Razorback

(Ray*zor*bak) n. 1. Feral domestic pig running wild in North America. 2. Interstellar smuggler  
to which a blind eye is often turned

Suidae swung away from the pilot’s view screen and went to get her lunch. There were only  
three ships in this convoy, and to say that she had a bad feeling would be an understatement.  
Running supplies through nebulae is inherently dangerous. The ionized dust and radiation  
disrupts Gate creation so cargo has to be brought in through sub-light means from outside the gas  
cloud. Sub-light transport leaves convoys open to pirate attack, but that was the point of this  
whole exercise wasn’t it? Sus Domestica lost an entire fleet of transports to the Dirus pirates  
despite having a small escort of Corvette class battle cruisers sent with them. The radiation in  
nebulae disrupted their tracking computers allowing the smaller, quicker pirates to swoop in and  
take the cargo at will. The analysis of the fight showed that the Corvettes were too slow and  
large. One commenter noted that it was like , “…swatting at a swarm of gnats!” Useless.   
The mining station inside the nebula needed the supplies, while Sus Domestica needed to get the  
rare minerals that were extracted from the dust cloud. Neither wanted to pay the crippling rate  
the pirates wanted for safe passage, but things were looking to head that way. The call went out  
for Razor-backs who would be willing and able to make the nebula run through Dirus space.   
Three groups sent proposals and this was their test. Whom-ever made the run successfully  
would get the contract.

The Hydrator beeped letting Suidae know her lunch was ready at about the same time the sound  
of hail hitting the hull began. She got back to her pilot chair and the view screen just in time to  
watch Oliveri’s ship drop its survival pod. He was planning to ramp up to near light-speed the  
instant the pirates showed up. It was a good plan if he was in solar space; unfortunately the same  
radiation that messed with targeting computers also fuzzed out sensor data, and the pirates would  
be on them before their sensors even registered a blip. All engine and no armor left Oliveri with  
a light, ridiculously fast ship that was shot to swiss-cheese before he had a chance to hit the  
accelerator. Suidae locked on to the survival pod and tapped the thrusters to go pick him up.   
The pirates were targeting the two, obviously lighter ships first. Suidae wasn’t going anywhere  
fast, that was for sure. Barbatus was next on the pirates’ hit-list, and he was fairing fairly well.   
Barbatus was a well known weapons smuggler. This was his attempt to go legit. His ship was  
decked out with a moderate amount of armor and six turret cannons. These were the same turret  
cannons that failed on the Corvettes, but with a slight modification. A team of former imperial  
marines took the place of the targeting computers. This strategy works well in asteroid fields,  
where targeting computers can be fooled by asteroid mass, but this was open space and the Dirus  
were too fast. More and more of the pirates dropped out of their ships to attach to Barbatus’ hull  
and began working it like an army of ants on a caterpillar. Barbatus’ survival pod detached from  
his ship and began floating; the marines were dead when the hull was cracked. Suidae let the  
computer target the pod and set a second way-point to get him after she picked up Oliveri.   
Suidae imagined the attack on her own ship play out in her head as it happened. Her ship was  
built almost exactly opposite from Oliveri’s, all armor little engine. This had gotten more than a  
few laughs at the Gate, but she had expected this. The pirates would first try to punch a hole in  
her armor. This was standard battle tactics and completely ineffective, but it cost the pirates  
almost nothing to try. Next would be the scavengers with their plasma cutters. If you punch  
holes in the hull of a ship in enough places, the human crew would either die from lack of  
oxygen or try to escape in a survival pod leaving valuable scavenge and cargo behind. Magnetic  
boots would keep the pirates attached to the hull while they did their grisly work.

The sound of hail stopped shortly before the sensors around the ship picked up the magnetic  
imprints attaching to the hull. Suidae waited for only a few more seconds and flipped a switch  
that that energized the device that she had custom designed and installed at the last Gate. Her  
hull magnetized in the space of a blink and then reversed polarity when she hit the thrusters.   
Mag-cables that usually kept pilots tethered to the small attack-ships went taunt as they ripped  
from their belt moorings to attach to the more attractive hull mass, then pirates went flying in  
every direction when the magnetic polarity that sealed the pirates to the ship reversed and  
instead, repelled them into space. The remaining pirates broke off the attack to pick up their  
mates and escape with whatever they had left.

A few hours later, Suidae had picked up the two survival pods and salvaged both of the  
competitor ships as well as a dozen of the pirate fighters. The fight only lasted a few minutes  
but it was extremely profitable. She returned to her lunch, a BLT, and set a course for the  
mining station. 

Suidae could almost feel Oliveri and Barbatus fume in their survival pods and she smiled.

\--Adapted from The Three Little Pigs;  
The name of the pirates “Dirus” is from the scientific classification for the dire wolf; a  
prehistoric giant wolf from North America.  
The name of the pilots and the corporation are from the scientific names for various  
members of the pig family.   
A BLT is a bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwich (and is delicious).


End file.
